Now that the whirlwind of closing and moving in has finally slowed down a little, I've had some time to think back about the process we went through buying our first home.

I definitely learned a lot along the way. Here are some of the biggest things I wish I knew before starting this process:

• Expect to need a lot more money than you think for taxes and closing fees. Yes, we do live in one of the highest taxed states in the country (Thanks New York!) but it was still a lot more than I thought. Our mortgage payment is $600 but taxes make it $1000, so 40% of the payment is taxes! With $15,000 in the bank we thought we could afford a lot more house than we actually could. Luckily the one we loved was priced well within our budget - but at first it was a let down to go from looking at higher end gorgeous houses to mid-range, older, and not quite as nice, homes.
  

• Get a pre-qualification before starting to look at homes online. This ties into the first one of needing more money than you first think. We sat down with a banker and were pre-qualified for a loan with just bank statements and a credit check. It didn't take long, and you weren't locked in to using that bank later one. She ran the numbers for the maximum we could afford to give us an idea of what we could expect if we were on the upper end of our budget. The banker was also able to give us a rough estimate of closing fees and taxes in several towns around Rochester which gave us a guideline on how much we would need on hand at closing. Even though a pre-qual is just an estimate, it is a good starting point when you start your search.
  

• Don't be surprised if you are disappointed when you view a home in person. We were pretty discriminating with the type of home we wanted and ruled a lot out online, however when we went to see homes that looked awesome in photos we were often let down. Homes wouldn't show a whole top floor in the pictures and it would be really outdated and worn out, for example. Or photos showed the owners stuff and in reality the house was stripped clean and in terrible condition inside. Or the house itself was awesome but was backed up to a chemical paint factory and a train tracks. We looked at countless places that we got very excited about but that turned out to be duds.

• Remember that a house is a huge purchase, so don't get frustrated when you don't find your dream home first week. The constant high and low of expectations is draining on your emotions. Our home search was not as long as most, and yet we still felt discouraged and stressed out about it. But then you find one house that strikes you as "pretty darn cool" and you get it. The search process lets you get a feel for what you really like and value, and gives you the insight to know when you've found one you want enough to snap it up.

• Don't lose faith when that awesome place you went to look at sold before you could put an offer in. Yes, we are in a "down" economy, but up here it certainly doesn't seem to be the case - at least in housing. We were actually sitting in the driveway of a house waiting for a showing when we got a call saying an offer had been made and accepted... and that house was just listed the morning before! There were a few really awesome homes that sold before we could even blink. Almost all the Realtors up here said that after the $8,000 tax credit came out well priced houses were selling like hot cakes. In fact, the home we ended up buying had two offers (including our own) within 12 hours of being listed! We ended up sniping someone else out, and I feel bad about that, but not too bad.

• If you don't use a buyers agent don't expect to negotiate a lower price or expect sellers agents to lower their commissions. When you sell a home you factor in 6% in agents commissions, normally 3% for your person and 3% for the buyers agent. If the buyer isn't using an agent the full 6% goes your realtor unless they agree to take less. After lots of reading and discussions we ended up buying a home without using an agent. The first house we made an offer on this was no benefit when we were negotiating; the sellers agent did not offer to reduce her commission at all, which gave us no additional leverage. That deal ultimately fell through because we couldn't agree on a price, and honestly I am glad now because we would not have been as happy in that home. However, not having an agent did help with the home we ended up purchasing; the sellers agent offered to reduce his commission to make our offer more attractive than the other one since he still made more with us even if it wasn't a full 6%. This is what ultimately let us get the contract. So it depends on the situation and the agent, but don't go into the transaction expecting it to work in your favor - it may not.

• Expect the bank to take their time and really investigate the mortgage, but also expect to have more options than the media would lead you to believe are available. We didn't have a huge percentage down for our house after factoring in all the closing fees and taxes. (about 8%) but we still qualified for both a conventional and FHA style loan, which surprised me - I thought we would need at least 10%, but the limits are actually much lower: 5% for conventional and 3.5% for FHA. And if you are a veteran you could still get away with 0% down earlier this year. However, before we got the loan we had to go through a rigorous process of verifications including providing bank statements, pay stubs, and allowing a verbal verification of employment. This is no surprise since lending to anyone with a pulse wrecked havoc when people couldn't make their payments.
  

• Stay focused and try to avoid getting overwhelmed with projects you want to start. This one is a big one, and one of the hardest. We moved into an older house (1968) and knew it would need a little bit of work, but are finding so many things we want to do; it's easy to get sidetracked jumping from one project to the next. We want to change some of the plants in the garden and start growing vegetables, we want to reseal the garage floor, we want to build stairs to the deck from the main level, we want to thin out the tree cover to get more direct sunlight... the list goes on. Then there are the small things like the bathroom sink draining slowing, the screen door squeaking, or the light bulb in the garage burning out. This is on top of moving in all our stuff and unpacking. It's very easy to get caught up in the projects and get overwhelmed with it all, so stay focused, make a list, prioritize, and above all don't get so eager to get stuff done that you end up going into debt or doing a shoddy job.

• Label stuff when you pack it! This is also a big one, and something we only did with a few things. We started packing well in advance of closing, and were diligent about putting like items together with clearly labelled boxes. But when the closing actually happened we still had about half of our stuff out and were scrambling to get it all loaded up. The last few things we packed were not labelled and were just stuffed in any available container. This was alright, but it definitely made unloading and unpacking more difficult. There were many: "do you know where X is?" conversations as we were unpacking different rooms.

• Don't be surprised by offers of furniture, pictures, and other stuff from friends and family - and don't be afraid to say No. We didn't have a lot of stuff to move since we only had a 900 square foot 1 bedroom apartment, and we will eventually end up having to find or buy more furniture for a few rooms. However, when family found out we were moving it seemed as if we had endless offers of stuff. Everyone seemed to use our moving as an excuse to finally get rid of their old furniture and clean out their garages. If you like something, and really would use it, the go ahead and take them up on their offers - but don't be afraid to say no if you don't want the old couch that's been collecting dust in your uncle's attic for 15 years. We have gotten a lot of nice things through family and friends, but we've also turned down a lot of nice (and some not so nice) things that don't fit our style or our home. It's hard, especially if you are close to the people, but the last thing you need is a bunch of new clutter when you are getting settled.